It's Personal To Me

What would you do if you won the lottery? That was the question my daughter and I talked about. My tastes are simple so there isn't much I'd want.

I love black jelly beans, watching old black and white movies, popcorn with real butter. My home is decorated with all natural products. Seashells, pine cones and birds nests. Very little is spent financially on material possessions simply because nothing beats mother nature for me.

There are things I want. Material things that don't really matter other than they are dreams of what I don't have. For me, I want a small farm with a small cottage. It's just me so I don't need much. 500 maybe 600 square feet would suit me just fine. A view would be nice but not mandatory. I have a bit of a green thumb so I can create my own view. Being a chef means fresh is important to me so I'd like to grow my own vegetables and herbs.

I'd like a horse, an Australian Sheep dog and a mouser or two. I've been single for 30 years now and feel more comfortable living with four legged companions than two legged. Maybe someday God will put someone in my life who will change that, but for now, it's what I want.

For my family, I'd like to take them all to Florida. Disney world, Epcot Center and now the new Hogwarts theme park at Universal Studios. They deserve to go. They are great kids and no mother could ask for better even with all the flaws, scars and habits.

I want to live long enough to be a problem to those children as well. That probably sounds silly, but it means I should be around for a good long time to enjoy them, perhaps see my grand kids marry even hold my great grand children.

The truth is though, there are so many things I want to do that I need two or three lifetimes to accomplish them all. Maybe someday I will share them with you, but for now, I want them to remain my dreams.

Today, while on this journey, I dream of feet that don't hurt at the end of the day. I dream of a good night's sleep and not waking with an aching back. I dream of a shower on a daily basis, not once a week; a bathroom that isn't 100 yards away; the ability to cook a simple meal on my own stove in my own kitchen.

Mostly I dream of what more I can do. Even this walk no longer seems enough to me. I am not only seeing, but experiencing what it means to be homeless. I sleep in the front seat of a mini-van, so I am never comfortable. When you're homeless, if you haven't got a carr and there's no room at the inn, where do you go? Where do you sleep? Where do you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night? Where do you take a hot shower every day? Where do you eat? Where do you get attention for the swollen feet, the aching back, the rotting teeth?

So dreams change along the way. The dreams of yesterday aren't nearly as important as the dreams of today. Today, right this moment what I would spend that lottery money on is different.

Today, I dream of a Double Decker bus. The upstairs has been turned into a dental office; the downstairs a medical office. It is driven from city to city, where doctors and dentists volunteer their time to provide the medical services the homeless would not receive otherwise.

Today, after the bus, I would disburse the remainder of that money to the shelters that need it the most. After all, even if I gave away every thing I owned, and I have given away most of it, I still have my dreams. I may not be able to hold them in my hand, but I have them just the same.

More importantly, I still have what matters most. I still have what many people do not. I have family and friends who love me, a home to go back to, and I have a God who loves me more than anything.